The Sparkle Isn’t the Same for Everyone

What the Holidays Feel Like When You’re Single

This is the season to be jolly.
At least, that’s what we’re told.

By the time the holidays arrive, the lights are already up. Playlists are looping. Group chats are planning dinners and gift exchanges. There’s a shared language of sparkle, warmth, and togetherness.

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And yet, the truth is simple.

The sparkle does not land the same for everyone.

When the Sparkle Feels Heavy

I realized this recently while driving home from my gynaecologist. Holiday decorations were already beginning to appear in shop windows. I had a podcast playing in the background, one I discovered after falling down an unexpected rabbit hole this year exploring relationships, intimacy, and the emotional undercurrents we rarely name out loud.

This particular episode explored why the holidays can feel heavy for so many people. Family dynamics. Boundaries. Unspoken expectations.

What struck me was how often this difficulty goes unnoticed.

We all move through the same season, but we experience it through very different realities. For some, the holidays sparkle because they mean being surrounded by family, tradition, and shared history. For others, that same sparkle highlights what is absent.

The Questions That Come With Singleness

In my case, the holidays tend to highlight my singleness.

Being single during this season often comes with questions. Sometimes they are asked gently. Other times, they arrive disguised as concern or advice. Why are you still single? Are your standards too high? Are you enjoying your independence a bit too much?

Over time, the line between curiosity and pressure blurs. Even when people mean well, the repetition can start to feel like a suggestion that something needs fixing. As though singleness is a phase you are failing to exit correctly.

What is rarely acknowledged is that two things can be true at once. You can enjoy your singleness and still desire partnership. You can have high standards and still be open. You can trust God and still feel lonely.

Learning to Sit With Uncertainty

Over time, these questions began to surface something deeper for me. They reshaped how I sit with uncertainty.

It has required me to slow down and examine the choices I make when the future does not present itself clearly.

This year, I found myself revisiting decisions I once avoided, not because they were wrong, but because I was not ready to hold them without fear. One of those decisions was egg freezing.

A few years ago, the thought came from urgency. From the pressure to act before time narrowed my options. I almost moved forward then, but I knew I was choosing from anxiety rather than peace, so I paused.

Now, the thought has returned with a different posture.

A trust that faith and wisdom can coexist. A trust that making space for the future does not diminish gratitude for the present.

Still Held

This season, I am choosing to believe what my heart keeps whispering. God has me. He is writing my love story. And even here and

now, I am held.

I’m sharing this in the hope that it meets you where you are.

If the holidays feel complicated for you, you are not alone. If the sparkle does not land the same, it does not mean something is wrong with you. It means you are human.